it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
