im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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