i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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