i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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