My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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