I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
