you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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