She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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