when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Your shirt... Was in my pants
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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