i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
