Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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