No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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