Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
