What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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