Nicole vs. Life
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
