Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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