Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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