well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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