Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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