turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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