I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
jump out the window naked night went bad
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
