Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
