I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
