If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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