so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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