he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
