very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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