So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
