??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
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I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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