i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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