so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
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Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
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Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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