I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
