we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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