i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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