Yo dont text me then not text me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize