so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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