Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
