yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
