I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
