I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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