i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
