I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
