i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
