i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
