Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.