margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is