Swine flu. Run for my life!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be