Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
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DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
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She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people