And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?