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so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
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