Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.