Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?