Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.