you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Randomize
