Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

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  (203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you. http://tfl.nu/ig1m
  Replies (8) Good night (1605) Bad night (768)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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  (781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb
  Replies (21) Good night (3156) Bad night (623)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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  (832): If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs. http://tfl.nu/152p
  Replies (9) Good night (2504) Bad night (568)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5876) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
  Replies (8) Good night (4038) Bad night (825)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor

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  (580): There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/zpbq
  Replies (6) Good night (939) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat

  (614): View more from Ohio

  repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES

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  (614): my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat (614): repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES http://tfl.nu/9vr3
  Replies (6) Good night (2006) Bad night (814)
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  (589): View more from

  This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.

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  (589): This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing. http://tfl.nu/5sq0
  Replies (3) Good night (1236) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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  (973): Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle. http://tfl.nu/gy9y
  Replies (16) Good night (650) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm a corrupt cop.

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  (678): You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably. (404): I'm a corrupt cop. http://tfl.nu/teya
  Replies (4) Good night (1976) Bad night (604)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.

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  (859): I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything. http://tfl.nu/z1ef
  Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (393)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck

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  (215): it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck http://tfl.nu/odm7
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.

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  (307): You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper. http://tfl.nu/3yr5
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.

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  (607): In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe. http://tfl.nu/9256
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.

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  (908): We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship. http://tfl.nu/ag21
  Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (205)

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