Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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