How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize