your thong is hanging out like whoa
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
