Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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