I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
two words: eviction party
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
