Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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