His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
