check it out our google latitudes are spooning
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
