do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm way too hungover for life right now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dear god my vagina.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
