I'm gonna have a badass scar
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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