If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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