Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
