youre lurking in front of me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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