that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
