Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
